Inappropriate Songs to Sing at the Workplace, Second Verse

“Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts…”(lyrics)

I almost sang that out loud at work. My brain radio throws up some crazy music without warning and fully prepared for me to be singing out loud with. The other day had Gilbert and Sullivan ( The Nightmare Song) running rampant in my brain. On yet another day, I had Salt and Peppa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex” in my mind. (Salt N Peppa)

 

Which cues this next thought: I remember the first time I saw a little kid of about three or four singing George Michaels “I Want Your Sex” and dancing to it, just like she knew what she was singing. I was kind of shocked by this!The problem is, the song is fun and has a good beat. It gets wedged in your head. (I will bet you are singing it right now!) Mind you, there are worse songs, lyrically, on those Kids Bop collections.( 8 Worst Kidz Bop Songs)

(Good gravy. Just because I said the song had a good beat, I now have the theme to American Bandstand playing in my head. Thanks, Barry Manilow.) (American Bandstand Theme)

Beyonce’s “Put a Ring on It” is another one that kids seem to really jam to. There are babies in videos online just jamming down to this song, which is kind of fun. Even the spoofs are worth watching for a good belly laugh.(single ladies baby dancing)

But to hear the song is to watch the video for me, and I just can’t get my head around all that dancing in high heels with bathing suits on. Not just cause I am jealous of those women who both can wear high heels and look awesome in one piece suits, either.

Work doesn’t help either. Sometimes hold music is pretty drowsy stuff. Today I heard a song about chickens. Yep, chickens. Done to a swinging 40’s beat. I was amazed to be able to complete the call coherently, it took me so by surprise.(The Chicken Song)

My husband, bless his heart (and I mean that in a truly southern way), can burst out with C.W. McCall songs and be able to sing every single word; intonation, innuendo, and all. I am not just talking about “Convoy” and “Wolf Creek Pass” either. And he does sing every word.(CJ 5)

The other day at work when the radio was quiet, he broke out loudly and proudly with “Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog.” The people all around him fell over in awe.  Or was that ow? One thing we both learned in choir is how to project, and that boy can out project a Broadway singer. (Joy to the World)

The problem is, music gets in to the brain and it stays there. It is hard to not hear music, especially if it is an annoying song that you never want to hear again, ever. Like, oh, “McArthur Park.” I so very much hate that song. Why is the cake so traumatically important? Who cares about the cake? Non-the-less, in my brain radio, that despicable song lives on. (Very Dreadful Song)

Great. Now I have the theme to Dispicable Me in my mind. Wait, I like that song! (Dispicable Me)

Antisocial

This post is written by my husband, Tom Martin.

 My wife is very social.

  She enjoys interacting with people. It doesn't matter if she is at a party or a funeral. She loves to go to yard sales and talk to the people who are having it. She will even have a ten minute conversation with someone she knows if she happens to bump into them at the store.

 

I, on the other hand, am antisocial.

 A lot of people misunderstand that. Some think that that means that I am grumpy. But I am not,

at least not always. I am frequently happy, and even silly.

 Some people think that I mean that I don't like people, and I have been known to say it that way myself.

But that is not accurate either. I do like people. Just this weekend, I was at a garage sale and saw a Star Wars comic book for sale. I knew that a co-worker, someone I have almost never talked to, would love it. So I bought it and gave it to her the next day at work just to make her happy. Not something that someone who didn't like people would do.

 So what do I mean when I say that I am antisocial?

  I mean that I don't like socializing with people. I don't like the noise. I don't like the confusion. I don't like having to pretend that I am interested in what someone is blathering on about and wasting my time when I could be accomplishing something.

  I also don't like the demands on my time that people think they can make just because they know me.

 They had a company picnic at the company that I work for this past weekend. I didn't go. So this morning, the company H.R. person from the downstate branch came out to ask me why. I dodged the question, since it was none of her business. But it bothers me that they think that I should have to explain why I didn't give up part of my free time for their silly party.

 The only person I cheerfully sacrifice my free time for is my wife. And that is because I love her more than I love me.

 I don't feel bad about being antisocial. It can actually be rather convenient. Where I work people come and go all the time. But since I don't spend a lot of time learning about their lives, and forming emotional bonds with them, It can be weeks after they're gone before I notice, and I seldom miss them.

 This carries over to people who have died.

 My dear wife grieves over the death of people she hasn't seen since college, thirty-three years ago. If I haven't seen someone in two or three years I may feel a few seconds sadness, and then I am done.

 So if I don't socialize with you it's not because I don't like you, or because I am a grump. It is simply because it does not come naturally to me.

Depression

I am one of millions of people who struggle with depression. I am taking medication for it. Some days, even with the medication, it is really hard to get out of bed and get on with living. Sometimes I feel very much separated from people; Friends, family, coworkers feel like they are outside of an invisible wall and I am on the inside, alone. Some days I wish I could cry, other days I am weepy for no reason.

Sometimes I feel like an abandoned house, broken down and empty

Depression comes if your life is good or if your life totally sucks. Depression is not just a feeling. It can be a symptom as well as the disease. It is hard to act normal when you have depression.

We do a lot of things to ourselves that tend to make us open to depression. Alcohol is a depressant. Constant stimuli, such as being on the computer for hours on end, sleeping with the TV on, never taking any mental rests, can fatigue a person until they have no energy left and are depressed.

Robin Williams was such a hero? Advocate? Model? For people who suffered from depression. He was aware of his demons. He experienced, vicariously, the lives of others who were depressed in his acting career, whose stories both turned out with happy endings and tragic endings. As a result, some people are judging him harshly for his death, calling him a coward. As a result, some people may think that if he didn’t find any reason to keep going, then why should I try? 

As a result, depression is in the spot light and mental health is being evaluated. The price was too high, but this could be a good thing. Maybe the powers that be will recognize that something must be done, help is needed. This is not a fake or imagined problem.

Robin Williams is not the first, nor the only person to be overwhelmed by depression. He is not the only famous person, not the only man, not the only person who seems to have it all. Sadly, he will not be the last person overwhelmed by depression, 

So we survivors grieve.

Grief is not the same as depression. Grief is a healing process; even anger can be a part of the healing.  But depression is like a black hole, an opposite of feelings. It is beyond numbness. It isn’t death, but it isn’t living either.

In my life, there have been situations that have caused me to have a bleak outlook for myself. Situations that convinced me that I was a ruined individual, that I deserved bad treatment, that I was fat, useless, ugly, an abomination. I was convinced that I could not do even simple things like drive a nail into a board, drive to work, or do anything right. I tolerated humiliating experiences because I truly believed I deserved it. Toleration does not mean that I walked through these things without it affecting me.

It has taken years to see what had really happened and to change my opinion of myself. The depression continues, though, because life keeps happening and keeps not being easy. I am continually healing.

There was a time when I didn’t want to heal. I wanted to die. I hated who I was. I was full of shame and humiliation. I drank. I did acid. I was stupid. I drove around for hours, trying to work up courage to drive into a tree or into a lake and just die. Why I didn’t just leave the situation on my own strength, I do not know. I felt like a prisoner. I felt worthless.

But I didn’t have enough courage or weakness to actually kill myself. And I survived.

Before that time of my life, other things happened to me that made me think I was ruined or stupid. After that time, things happened to make me think I was incapable or crazy. Living sometimes just beats on a person.

And then, hormones stepped in and screwed things up even more.

In spite of everything, I am still alive. I have gone back to college and earned a bachelor’s of applied science degree. I took the exam and am a certified medical assistant. I can use a computer and learn new things. I am remarried, to a childhood friend, and we lend each other strength and courage. Sometimes, we just allow ourselves to be weak, but only in front of each other because we trust each other and we can.

I have a faith in God, which gives me reason to have hope. Without hope, people perish.

The battle is not over, not until I die. Life is in constant flux. Hormones are regularly throwing me for a loop. I have a long way to go to improve my self-image and my health.

They are now saying that Robin was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease. We have amazing breakthrough in health care, but we also keep people alive beyond quality of life.

I believe that live is precious and not a thing to be carelessly disposed of.

But I also believe, for myself, that I would want to die before being unable to live keeps me in bed, with strangers wiping my butt and bathing my helpless body, with no more mind left to think with. I am terrified of Alzheimer’s or similar dementias. I fear having a stroke.

I used to harshly judge those who committed suicide. Then I started learning that I don’t know everything, including what that person’s last thoughts or prayers were. I am not God to judge people. I am a human being. I have wanted to die, too. 

It does seem selfish that they have died that way and left the rest of us to face life afterwards. More depression comes into the world because of this. Survivors live in shadows, asking was it something I did? Why didn’t they love me enough to stay?

I, and many others who suffer with depression, currently choose to stay. But I will not curse at the ones who choose not to. I will pray for those they left behind.

Faith is the evidence of things hoped for.. and it is what keeps me going forward.

 

Sensible Shoes

 I really wish I could wear shoes that were not sensible. High heels. Gladiator Sandals. Thigh-high boots. But no, I have to wear tennis shoes or similar ugly shoes that have good arch support and preferably do not have laces that will untie and trip me. I am officially “stodgy” when it comes to shoes. My feet are flat, ruined with years of wearing the wrong shoes for long shifts running all over concrete floors and stairways of all kinds. Poor things. 

 When I was a kid, though, I remember how grand it felt to get new sneakers for school. You could run so fast, jump so high, those shoes changed everything! I recall a couple of pairs in particular: I had Keds that had the ecology symbol all over them. I believe I wore them until they were practically sandals. Then for the longest time, I got black track shoes from Sears. Great arch support!

Remember earth shoes? Sort of like Birkenstocks but not as cool, with the heel lower than the toes? They were very comfortable. Wish I could still find a pair. My grandma wouldn’t have been able to wear those. Her tendons were trained for high heels, and going barefoot was painful enough that she never did as far as I recall.

Earth shoes, hush puppies, penny loafers and saddle shoes. Black oxfords for marching in, and Penny Loafers were for being preppy in. Deck shoes. Flip flops and Dr Scholls what-do-you-call-ums, those sandals that had a hard soul and just a strap across the toes with a buckle on it. Platform shoes and high-heeled sneekers, which are back in style, only better than before.  Also higher than before. I would break an ankle for sure. Shoe boots.  

 

Oh, my gosh, shoe boots. I begged and begged to get shoe boots, not boots that I had to wear my shoes in, but boots that fit like shoes. The ultimate style, shoe boots. I had to put bread wrappers on to get them on my feet. They would slide right on! But you had to wrestle the things off at the end of the day.

My Dad had a Mason Shoe dealership. The man wore out shoes pretty quickly and had to get new pair often, so it made sense for him to be a Mason shoe dealer. He told me once I could take over his dealership, but by the time I got around to it, they no longer did business through individuals like that. I notice now days they also carry store brand shoes and not their own line any more. Ours were tricky feet to fit, with Dad having wide feet, mom and sis having tiny feet, and the rest of us needing shoes for sports, band, and so on.

 

You have probably noticed that if your feet hurt, your whole day goes down the tubes. You only get one pair of feet…well, you know, flesh and blood feet. It pays to take care of them. Basic foot health is to keep your feet clean and dry, with nails well-trimmed but not cut too close in. Shoes should support your feet and should not pinch. Flip flops, jellies, and whatever else kind of shoe that is flat and thin can cause damage to your arch and blisters to your toes. I used to get the most uncomfortable blisters in between my toes with flip flops. Ouch!

I found this great list online:

10 Tips to Maintain Healthy Feet

1. Inspect your feet regularly and pay attention to changes in color, texture or appearance.

2. Maintain good foot hygiene, including washing and drying between the toes.

3. Hydrate the skin. Southern California weather and open shoes can cause rapid loss of moisture from the skin and may result in cracking or the formation of fissures. It is helpful to replace the moisture content by using lotions or creams on a regular basis. (Weather in any state can effect foot health.)

4. Buy proper-size shoes. You may not wear the same size in shoes made by different manufacturers. Purchase new shoes late in the day, when feet tend to be at their largest. Always buy the shoes that feel the best.

5. Don't ignore foot pain. Symptoms that increase or do not resolve within a reasonable period of time need to be evaluated by your podiatric physician.

6. Cut toenails straight across. Never cut into the corner this could cause an ingrown toenail. Gently file away sharp corners or rough edges with an emery board.

7. Exercise. Walking is a great way to keep weight under control and is an excellent conditioner for the feet. Be sure to wear appropriate athletic shoes when exercising.

8. Alternate your shoes each day. Since the feet have sweat glands, your shoes will absorb moisture from your feet, so it is important to allow your shoes to dry out completely.

9. Avoid walking barefoot to help protect your feet from injury and infection.

10. Put sunblock on your feet while wearing sandals during the day to avoid sunburn.

 

(University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA)

924 Westwood Blvd., Ste. 350

Los Angeles, CA 90095

United States

http://www.ucla.edu)