It all begins with being born female. And, it seems to be all about sex. Even when it isn’t.
It
begins with puberty: All of the sudden while we are playing dolls,
things start changing shape, hair starts growing in weird places, and we become
something different. Hormones called
estrogen are produced by the ovaries.
They contribute to the development of the female secondary sex
characteristics and stimulate the mammary gland development, the onset of
menstruation, and the development and functioning of the reproductive
organs. Progesterone, which is also produced by the
ovaries, assists the normal development of pregnancy. Menstrual cycles are regulated by hormonal
feedback. There are regular patterns of
increases and decreases in hormonal levels.
What began with puberty winds
down when a woman enters menopause. Menopause
is caused by a normal decline in ovarian function. The ovaries become chiefly scar tissue, and
no longer produce ripe follicles or appreciable amounts of estrogen. Things start changing shape, and hair grows
in weird places, and we become something different. Menopause is an entirely
normal condition, but its onset sometimes brings about effects that are
temporarily disturbing. The decreases in
estrogen levels can cause nervous symptoms such as anxiety and insomnia. Because estrogen also helps maintain the
vascular dilation that helps promote heat loss, low levels may result in hot flashes.
It is this onset, or perimenopause, that brings about the so called symptoms
which occur while leading up to the actual cessation of menstruation. In fact, it isn’t menopause until you have
ceased having a period for a full year.
Post menopause is the rest of a woman’s life.
It would be good to have a
menopause survival kit. All women are different. The one thing that all women have in common
is that we are women. But women all
react differently to life and changes and issues. In different cultures, menopause is a step
into more respect, a higher standing in the community. In our culture, not so much. All women will experience menopause to some
extent, even if it means not experiencing it.
Classmates shared that because of endometrial ablation, they have none
of the signs of menopause. Some have
ended their periods with no fuss, others are having the whole nine yards of hot
flashes and emotional explosions. Those who
have had hysterectomies or partial hysterectomies have had more difficult times
than others. There is not blanket statement that will address women and
menopause.
What
might a menopause survival kit include?
Earl
Gray tea, for
one thing. Aromatherapy, tai chi, yoga, acupuncture, massage; these are all
recommended for women who are entering menopause. In earl gray tea, the herb bergamot fills the
air with a kind of spicy aroma. The tea
is to remind you to find pleasant and therapeutic scents or sensations whenever
you need to.
Chocolate to soothe the savage breast. Get
some positives in your life. Bring in
some treats. We all know that chocolate
is good for your health, if not for yourself then certainly everyone around
you. Dove Chocolates have messages that
are positive and encouraging. Every little pick-me-up counts.
A
fan for the
hot flashes. Keep your cool!
“My husband can’t sleep within
one foot of me at night-I am way too hot!”
“I had instant menopause when I
had my hysterectomy.. night sweats started in the hospital. Took an herb called black cohosh. Hot flashes and night sweats gone.”
“About 12 years ago menopause
started. The biggest thing for me at
first was the night sweats. I would be
cold just before laying down, as soon as I would cover, it would feel like
someone put me in a blast furnace”
You might have them, you might
not. Just be prepared. Dress in layers. Drink lots of water. The only thing I wish is that hot flashes
could happen when you need them, like when the power goes out in the
winter. Cause, wow, do I get hot!
Tissues
for tears-the
most unexpected things will make you cry- and surprise allergies
“I can’t look at photos of my
kids or grand kids without having a box of tissue next to me…what’s up with
that????”
You remember that commercial
with the guy coming home and making coffee before his family gets up and
surprising them? I cry just
thinking about it. Sometimes I just get
SO sad, for no reason! Emotions. There really is no cure.
And then, there are these surprise
allergies. I love nuts, walnuts,
cashews, you know…can’t eat them. I love
certain seasonings in my food… can’t eat it any more. Something, I don’t know what, causes me to
have hives every now and again.
Physiological changes have no logic.
Memo
book: You are going to forget things. Write down the important things. I have been learning for years how to use a
planner. I might just get it someday!
You might also consider keeping a health
journal, with ups and downs and any signs you may experience listed. It will be more than just walking with
purpose into the next room and totally blanking out as to why you went in
there. It is more than losing your keys.
Bag
of marbles, so
that no matter what you will still have some! Really, you are not crazy. You just feel like it some days.
Trash
bag. When you are pregnant, you go through the
nesting stage. This stage tends to be
one where you either simplify or hoard. There is no patience left for things
that drag one down or hold one captive.
If you have an ancient meaningless grudge, throw it away. If you have friends that do nothing but tear
you down, drop them. If your marriage is
rocky, it is time to fix it or come to grips with it and find a direction that
works. There are going to be times when you find that you are just furious,
ticked, and about to explode for no reason.
Then, the bag is to breathe into.
Mirror:
Get to know
yourself. Look at yourself in the
mirror- all of you. Get familiar with
your body if you aren’t already. Look
for what you love about yourself. I love
my eyes, they remind me of my dad, and I know that they are an attractive
feature to others. Do Breast self exams, check out your vagina
in the mirror, look yourself over, and don’t be ashamed.
Lube: It is ironic that menopause
sounds like taking a pause from men.
Some of my friends are at the same place as I have been. Don’t want it, don’t need it, why do it? A woman may go from “didn’t we just do that
an hour ago?” to “didn’t we just do that last year??” But I love my husband, and he loves me, and
sex is part of the equation. The sex life part may need some work, and you have
to be more proactive: Maybe you could
get your partner to help you with the mirror!
Wink wink! Wear racy lacy things,
tell your man that you need help starting your motor, and use lubes. It is OK to be a little naughty! It helps sex stop from being a chore to
becoming fun again!
I have made light of menopause,
but not because I think it is a joke.
It is just the way I deal with things.
Sometimes the mood swings are too wild to handle, and the forgetfulness can
be terrifying. I am grateful for myself and for all women that there is so much
more being done, and so much more discussion going on, regarding this part of a
women’s life. As women, we are ultimately
responsible for our own well-being, but these days there are tools and resources
to help better equip us to face “the change”.
