MENOPAUSE (This one is for the girls!)

It all begins with being born female.  And, it seems to be all about sex.  Even when it isn’t.

It begins with puberty:  All of the sudden while we are playing dolls, things start changing shape, hair starts growing in weird places, and we become something different.  Hormones called estrogen are produced by the ovaries.  They contribute to the development of the female secondary sex characteristics and stimulate the mammary gland development, the onset of menstruation, and the development and functioning of the reproductive organs.    Progesterone, which is also produced by the ovaries, assists the normal development of pregnancy.  Menstrual cycles are regulated by hormonal feedback.  There are regular patterns of increases and decreases in hormonal levels.

What began with puberty winds down when a woman enters menopause.  Menopause is caused by a normal decline in ovarian function.  The ovaries become chiefly scar tissue, and no longer produce ripe follicles or appreciable amounts of estrogen.  Things start changing shape, and hair grows in weird places, and we become something different. Menopause is an entirely normal condition, but its onset sometimes brings about effects that are temporarily disturbing.  The decreases in estrogen levels can cause nervous symptoms such as anxiety and insomnia.  Because estrogen also helps maintain the vascular dilation that helps promote heat loss, low levels may result in hot flashes. It is this onset, or perimenopause, that brings about the so called symptoms which occur while leading up to the actual cessation of menstruation.  In fact, it isn’t menopause until you have ceased having a period for a full year.  Post menopause is the rest of a woman’s life.

It would be good to have a menopause survival kit. All women are different.  The one thing that all women have in common is that we are women.  But women all react differently to life and changes and issues.  In different cultures, menopause is a step into more respect, a higher standing in the community.  In our culture, not so much.  All women will experience menopause to some extent, even if it means not experiencing it.  Classmates shared that because of endometrial ablation, they have none of the signs of menopause.  Some have ended their periods with no fuss, others are having the whole nine yards of hot flashes and emotional explosions.  Those who have had hysterectomies or partial hysterectomies have had more difficult times than others. There is not blanket statement that will address women and menopause. 

What might a menopause survival kit include?

Earl Gray tea, for one thing. Aromatherapy, tai chi, yoga, acupuncture, massage; these are all recommended for women who are entering menopause.  In earl gray tea, the herb bergamot fills the air with a kind of spicy aroma.  The tea is to remind you to find pleasant and therapeutic scents or sensations whenever you need to.

Chocolate to soothe the savage breast. Get some positives in your life.  Bring in some treats.  We all know that chocolate is good for your health, if not for yourself then certainly everyone around you.  Dove Chocolates have messages that are positive and encouraging. Every little pick-me-up counts.

A fan for the hot flashes.  Keep your cool!

“My husband can’t sleep within one foot of me at night-I am way too hot!”

“I had instant menopause when I had my hysterectomy.. night sweats started in the hospital.  Took an herb called black cohosh.  Hot flashes and night sweats gone.”

“About 12 years ago menopause started.  The biggest thing for me at first was the night sweats.  I would be cold just before laying down, as soon as I would cover, it would feel like someone put me in a blast furnace”

You might have them, you might not.  Just be prepared.  Dress in layers.  Drink lots of water.  The only thing I wish is that hot flashes could happen when you need them, like when the power goes out in the winter.  Cause, wow, do I get hot!

Tissues for tears-the most unexpected things will make you cry- and surprise allergies

“I can’t look at photos of my kids or grand kids without having a box of tissue next to me…what’s up with that????”

You remember that commercial with the guy coming home and making coffee before his family gets up and surprising them? I cry just thinking about it.  Sometimes I just get SO sad, for no reason!  Emotions.  There really is no cure.

And then, there are these surprise allergies.  I love nuts, walnuts, cashews, you know…can’t eat them.  I love certain seasonings in my food… can’t eat it any more.  Something, I don’t know what, causes me to have hives every now and again.  Physiological changes have no logic.

Memo book:  You are going to forget things.  Write down the important things.  I have been learning for years how to use a planner.  I might just get it someday!

 You might also consider keeping a health journal, with ups and downs and any signs you may experience listed.  It will be more than just walking with purpose into the next room and totally blanking out as to why you went in there.  It is more than losing your keys.              

Bag of marbles, so that no matter what you will still have some! Really, you are not crazy.  You just feel like it some days.  

Trash bag.  When you are pregnant, you go through the nesting stage.  This stage tends to be one where you either simplify or hoard. There is no patience left for things that drag one down or hold one captive.  If you have an ancient meaningless grudge, throw it away.  If you have friends that do nothing but tear you down, drop them.  If your marriage is rocky, it is time to fix it or come to grips with it and find a direction that works. There are going to be times when you find that you are just furious, ticked, and about to explode for no reason.   Then, the bag is to breathe into. 

Mirror: Get to know yourself.  Look at yourself in the mirror- all of you.  Get familiar with your body if you aren’t already.  Look for what you love about yourself.  I love my eyes, they remind me of my dad, and I know that they are an attractive feature to others.     Do Breast self exams, check out your vagina in the mirror, look yourself over, and don’t be ashamed.

Lube: It is ironic that menopause sounds like taking a pause from men.  Some of my friends are at the same place as I have been.  Don’t want it, don’t need it, why do it?  A woman may go from “didn’t we just do that an hour ago?” to “didn’t we just do that last year??”  But I love my husband, and he loves me, and sex is part of the equation. The sex life part may need some work, and you have to be more proactive:  Maybe you could get your partner to help you with the mirror!  Wink wink!  Wear racy lacy things, tell your man that you need help starting your motor, and use lubes.  It is OK to be a little naughty!  It helps sex stop from being a chore to becoming fun again!

I have made light of menopause, but not because I think it is a joke.   It is just the way I deal with things.   Sometimes the mood swings are too wild to handle, and the forgetfulness can be terrifying. I am grateful for myself and for all women that there is so much more being done, and so much more discussion going on, regarding this part of a women’s life.  As women, we are ultimately responsible for our own well-being, but these days there are tools and resources to help better equip us to face “the change”.